Monday, June 29, 2009

The Sixth Borough wins Audiences and Judges awards at Chicago's Snubfest

Photo taken by C vs. A at The Sixth Borough's "Depression Isn't Just A River In Egypt" at Connie's Ric Rac this past April. We weren't in Chicago.

"It was fun to do it anyway but to the fact that we won a couple of festival trips made it much more worthwhile," said Corey Cohen a day after his group, Philadelphia's THE SIXTH BOROUGH, won not just the Audience but the Judges award at Chicago's Snubfest (presented by Chemically Inbalanced Comedy). With the awards came entrances to Milwaukee's Comedy Festival in August and 2010's Montreal Sketch Festival.

The other award from Snubfest went to Chicago's The Cool Table, who in turn earned entrance into the Philly Sketchfest later this year (dates haven't been announced yet, but best believe we'll be on top of it).

Meanwhile, plans are in the works for a hero's welcome home for The 6B similar to the Philadelphia Phillies victory parade last year (no, not really). They've just made us so proud, sniff.
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Thursday, June 25, 2009

TONIGHT: The C vs. A Radio Hour!

Our bi-weekly comedy talk show returns tonight from 7-8PM EST with our friends at Gtownradio.com (The Sound From Germantown).

Your host Dave Walk will be talking to comedians, playing not-funny songs and other great stuff, so make sure to set your internet dial to Gtownradio.com.

This week Luke Giordano will be in the studio to preview his new monthly comedy show THE BULLY PULPIT. The first show is Wednesday, July 8th at the Shubin Theatre. Plus, we'll talk to Southern stand-up comic Henderson Cole about living in Philadelphia.

That's 7-8PM TONIGHT Eastern Standard Time U.S.A., streaming at Gtownradio.com.

By the way, you can listen to G-Town Radio on your iPhone or iPod Touch!
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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

TONIGHT: The Ministry of Secret Jokes

Our spies have been working overtime to obtain details and only now can they safely report that Doogie Horner's THE MINISTRY OF SECRET JOKES, the most mysterious show in Philadelpha, returns tonight to the easy-to-find Fergie's Pub (1214 Sansom). It'll be a packed night with stand-up by Kent Haines, Carolyn Busa, Brendan Kennedy, Benny Michaels, and Jon Goff, an Omniana battle between longtime champion Brendan Kennedy and Benny Michaels, and the return of the game Hack!, in which comics have 60 seconds to write their own punchline to a hacky premise.

Here's top secret footage from last month's rap battle:


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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A SUMMER AT CHUCK E. CHEESE by Gregg Gethard

We join Philadelphia stand-up comic/writer/host of BEDTIME STORIES (July's show is the Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego? extravaganza, more on that later) once again as he recounts his idyllic summer as an employee of Chuck E. Cheese.

PART 1

Dawn had her blonde hair teased as only a girl from North Jersey can tease her hair. I fucking hated her. She was a complete and total bitch to anyone she didn't like, which was everyone, except for the parade of older shithead guidos she dated, the types of guys whose idea of a good time was to throw Coors Light empties out of a speeding car at homeless people.

Dawn and I were co-workers at Chuck E. Cheese, America's foremost chain of birthday emporiums for germ-infected kids. My job duties were plentiful -- kidnap prevention, game repair, game maintenance, merchandise counter, waiter, bus boy, dishwasher, breadstick cook, bathroom custodian and, of course, costumed entertainment.

For one glorious, defining summer, my job was to pretty much get into a giant rat costume and dance around for immigrant children.

This is how I ended up, holding a mouse head in a filthy utility closet, getting yelled at by a girl whose only talent on earth was the ability to blindly flip the radio dial from KISS FM to HOT 97 while going down on a 28-year-old cement mixer/numbers runner in the front seat of his fire red Camaro.

The rest of the story after the jump...

"What the fuck do you think you're doing out there? Huh? I have to do the birthday dance while you're out there looking like a retard. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I guess I was a bit of a loose cannon as a dancer. You had to be if you wanted to compete with Jim. Jim ran the kitchen and never spoke more than a few words at a time. He'd just cast an empty stare into the pizza over and announce when an order was finished.

But Jim liked to leave the kitchen area on occasion to don the Chuck E. Cheese costume. And when he did, he was pure electricity. Jim would dance on chairs, do somersaults, run onto tables and lead large Congo lines throughout the facility. Jim was a genius. He was the best Chuck E. Cheese performer amongst the staff of the Route 10 East Hanover branch. He was untouchable.

But I wanted to make a case for number two. The other Chuck E. Cheese performers often gave tedious performances. I could understand mailing in a performance, especially after a long day of serving pizzas and redeeming plastic trinkets for prize tickets.

But I could only understand mailing it in. I never did. Not if I wanted to be number two.

At the very least, I could better than George. George was 26 and had a tube in the back of his head which kept his skull from expanding. He was about 40 pounds overweight and a heavy smoker. He was the first person, out of many, I would meet at a shitty job who would have the corporate rules and regulations handbook memorized.

“Black shirts go with brown belts, Gregg. White shirts get tucked in."

"There are only 18 pieces of pepperoni on this pie. Send it back to Kitchen and tell them to make sure there are 20."

“The plug for the Jurassic Park sit-down game does not go into that outlet.”

George also loved performing as Chuck E. Cheese. He would rigidly to the performance as per the training video. He would never stray from the "Birthday Dance." He would never throw in a macarena or a sexy hip wiggle.

It was a metaphor for my life -- would my individualism shine through in the face of such oppressive corporate attitudes? Would I be able to dance The Birthday Song as I saw fit, with my own impressions, or would the forces of management, at least through the eyes of a semi-retarded guy, make me do the standard swim dance followed by the watusi? Would I manage to trump a 26-year-old porn addict whose mom drove him to and from work, since he couldn't drive because of the tube in his head which kept his skull from expanding?

It would be a test of wills.

George loved Dawn. He called her about seven times a night. Once, his fat mother even came into the store to ensure her it would be okay if she wanted to come over for dinner.

She didn't.

After performing as Chuck E. Cheese, it was custom to go back to the kitchen for a drink and a few slices of pizza or breadsticks. This time, Dawn followed me, continuing to insult my dancing abilities. "I don't think you understand how much of an idiot I look like dancing when you're dancing like an asshole. Just do The Birthday Dance like you're supposed to."

Albert slammed down his pizza knife and looked over at us. He was a Christian convert from Nigeria. The only thing he hated more than loud arguments in the kitchen was Jews. He announced one day he would attack any Jews he met as they killed Christ. At least half the staff was Jewish.

Dawn continued to browbeat me. Finally, I lost it.

"Buh buh buh buh." I screamed in her face. "I'm a dumb guidette! I'm a dumb guidette!"

"WHAT did you just call me?"

"I called you a dumb, worthless guidette. And I barely, rarely give a deuce what the fuck you think about my dancing. Buh buh buh buh."

The whole kitchen just stopped to look at me. Everyone in the kitchen stopped what they were doing to watch my fit.

Arthur, the assistant manager who smoked pot with me back by the dumpster, looked at me.

"Did you just say that you 'barely, rarely give a deuce?’ What the fuck does that even mean? Why are you saying ‘buh buh buh’ so much? Is that even English?"

I looked at him. The entire staff was laughing at me.

I then clocked out for my lunch break.

PART 2

The only thing Ronnie ever talked about were cheat codes for whatever fantasy game for his Sega he just purchased. It was another day of toiling in silence with Ronnie, fixing games and cleaning up spilled soda and dropped pizza.

Pete, the manager, then came running to us. Pete was always intense. His job was to oversee the smooth operations of a Chuck E. Cheese outlet and he put all of his energy into doing just that. He'd always talk about his chronic headaches and discuss his marital strife with his teenage employees.

"We have an emergency in the ballpit. Code Brown. It’s a Code Brown. I need you two over there with garbage bags and shovels, pronto."

Ronnie and I went over to the ballpit. We saw two crying children, pointing inside the ballpit.

"Some other kid just went poopie in the ballpit. It wasn't me, though, it was some other kid." I looked at the rear of this kid’s pants. They seemed to be filled with diarrhea, hopefully his own.

Smeared across dozens of balls was, indeed, poopie. It was liquid in its nature. No doubt, the Chuck E. Cheese breadsticks did a number on this kid's intestinal tract.

Pete told me and Ronnie to go into the ball pit and shovel all of the balls into the plastic bags. And then we were to go and hose off the balls and return them when they were cleaned.

So there I was, shoveling shit-drenched balls out of a ballpit into plastic bags with a deaf-mute Final Fantasy addict.

Our only conversation would come when children would want to come into the ballpit. I'd have to tell them it was closed. They'd always inquire why.

"Poopie. There's a looooooot of poopie in there."

Finally, after about an hour, all the balls, and the fecal matter, were in plastic bags. We took them out to the parking lot behind the kitchen, conveniently located right in front of the lobby of the area’s most popular movie theater.

Ronnie held open a bag. And I then started to hose off shit-smeared balls for the Chuck E. Cheese ballpit. In a lifetime of lowly moments, this was definitely one of the worse.

But my public shaming was not complete. Now driving past the parking lot was a gang of dickheads who went to high school with me. Here I was, standing in a parking lot in the retarded Chuck E. Cheese outfit, complete with visor, hosing off balls, while these tanned, musclehead assholes in a convertible bought with Daddy's "construction" money driving by, yelling my name (“Faggot”), and throwing Coors Light empties at me.

I then told Ronnie we were done. No one was by the dishwasher. I took the fecal-infested balls and threw them in the dishwasher, along with the plates and cups and everything else a restaurant uses. Fortunately, I did not create an e coli scare.

PART 3

From one side of the crowded Chuck E. Cheese walked a white trash lady with all the needed acoutrements -- a big Jersey perm, swishy running pants, caked on make-up, the wide eyes of a coke binge and an ugly, overweight child. From the other side came this ghetto fabulous Newark girl -- neck tattoo, Cross Colour shirt w/ matching pants and an ugly, overweight child.

They both converged in front of the merchandise table I was sitting behind, hoping to join the masses who wanted to exchange their tickets for valuable plastic backscratchers, pencil erasers and neon green T-Shirts with stenciled cartoon frogs.

"Move, bitch, I was fuckin' here first."

"No, you move, you trashy-ass whore."

It was on. Punches were thrown, hair was pulled and bodies hit the floor. The string of obscenities were absurd in their violence and tone. Parents were watching and kids were screaming.

I couldn’t stop laughing; because, as per my custom when working merch, I was really high.

Pete, the manager, rushed the scene and pulled the ladies apart. They were STILL trying to get at each other.

Finally, after they left, Pete called me into the kitchen. He then proceeded to berate me for not doing more to stop the fight.

I couldn’t stop laughing; I was still really high when this guy was browbeating me for not hopping the merch counter to intervene in this brawl.

PART 4

My co-worker Nick and I had one thing in common -- an undying attraction for sexy, older women. Chuck E. Cheese. was filled with MILFs.

We devised a system, breaking Chuck E. Cheese into various quadrants.

"Nick, MILF red, Sector 4" meant for Nick to head to the skeeball racks to see 38-year-old woman wearing a very short skirt.

Nick or I would then get into the Chuck E. Cheese costume. Eventually, Chuck E. would mosey over to the sector and start to hug children. Then, Chuck E. would end up inappropriately hugging a mother of two, hoping to avoid a lawsuit.

PART 5

Kid Check was one of the more annoying jobs I've ever had. I would stand at the front of the store and stamp a number onto the hands of children with their adult supervisor. Kids could not leave the store unless they had the same number as the adult trying to leave with them.

Essentially, I was The Wall between a child and his or her brutal rape and murder…all for minimum wage.

On top of my worries that my shameful photograph would be plastered on the evening news after I inadvertently let a 9-year-old leave with a man who would keep her chained in a tomb while he filmed her, this job could be painfully boring. During slow times, when there wasn't anyone in the store, all I did was just sit at the front like a complete and total asshole.

To counter the boredom, I would bring in a book to read. The first book was Camus' The Stranger. One soccer mom asked me what I was reading. She asked me what it was about.

"The existentialist quandry of everyday life, as seen through the prism of the murder of an Arab."

She walked away without saying anything.

One day, I didn't have a book to read. An African-American co-worker of mine lent me her copy of Waiting to Exhale.

Every African-American woman who walked past me would stop and talk my ear off about the book and explain to me about how it was just like their life.

Chuck E. Cheese helped me gain a better understanding of the life experiences of other races and genders, at least through Terry McMillan’s worldview.

PART 6

One day, I was at Kid Check. And who walks in, but none other than then-New York Giants head coach and football legend Dan Reeves.

It was his grandson's birthday. He sat down at a table and was then surrounded by every guy in the store -- a combination of big Giants' fans and dads insanely bored from being at Chuck E. Cheese.

I had to get in costume and do The Birthday Dance for Dan Reeves' grandson. I went up to Coach Reeves and made him get up and do the twist. He somehow did this and managed not to break his hip.

Later on in the day, Dan Reeves, football legend, put about $15 worth of quarters in The Who's Tommy pinball game ("Touch Me. Feel Me. Play Me."), not seeing the large "OUT OF ORDER" sign right on top of it.

“Thank you, son,” he said as I reimbursed him for his token loss.

No wonder he couldn't win a Super Bowl with John Elway.

PART 7

"Fuck. It's Dauber."

Those three words sent shivers down the spine of any and all of the East Hanover Chuck E. Cheese employees. Dauber was a regular customer at Chuck E. Cheese, always coming with his nephew, Robbie.

He was called Dauber because of his stunning resemblance to four time Oscar-award winning actor Bill Faggerblake, the man who portrayed the loveably dim-witted assistant Dauber on TV's Coach. Dauber also constantly wore a mesh blue football jersey for a team entitled "The Dusters" with the number 43.

He was also a complete and total asshole. Rude, pushy, degrading -- this guy was a nightmare. He would come into Chuck E. Cheese, condescendingly say the name on your nametag, and say something like: "I would like a bag of tokens now. Hurry up before I get your manager" or "Return this pizza, boy, it's cold."

We all longed for a way to get back at this dick. The unwritten "code" stated that you could do this by humiliating and/or assaulting the child of a patron. The resetting of a heated video game, a quick judo toss in the ball pit or taking a child's redemption tickets were always a good way to take out the deep rage of a crummy minimum wage job on an innocent.

But I was previously burned by the "code” in an attempt to strike back against a small child. A mother and a father were particularly bothersome to me when I served them their food. I sought justice by tripping their daughter in the game room as she ran by me. I was caught by her parents in the act. Pete, the over-the-top insane manager, was absolutely irate with me when they told him what I did.

At Pete’s order, I had to physically lower myself and squat and apologize to a nine-year-old girl in the middle of the store, as her parents and my boss hovered over me.

She didn’t accept my apology.

Thus, attacking Robbie was out of the question. We needed a strike directly at Dauber himself.

Dauber's biggest demands were for an employee to get in costume. Getting in costume had its moments; however, at the end of a hot, long day, it wasn't something anyone particularly wanted to do. Especially if George, the 26-year-old with the tube in the back of his head, was in costume earlier in the day, since you'd go home smelling like a 26-year-old Chuck E. Cheese employee with a tube in the back of his head.

Dauber, once again, demanded someone to get into costume. I gathered the troops in the kitchen. And I told them that I was going to fight back.

I got into costume. I went out on the floor, hugging kids while Dauber and his son watched. I waited. Nick served them their medium pie. And then I made my move.

I sat down with Dauber and Robbie, putting the oversized Chuck E. Cheese boots on the table.

"Wow, Robbie. Look! Chuck E. Cheese came to sit with you, Robbie."

I then took my feet off the table and stood up. And I pointed my fur-covered finger right in his big, fat face.

"Oh, no. I think he's here to see me, Robbie."

I shook my mouse helmet yes, swatting with my paw, swiping his Diet Coke away, spilling it on the floor. Then I grabbed a slice of his pizza and turned it upside down, squashing it on the table and then pointing in his face again.

Nick then came up behind me, with our co-workers in the background. He folded his arms.

"Chuck E. thinks you're a jerk. You come in here every weekend to boss around teenagers. And Chuck E. thinks you owe us all an apology."

Dauber paused, said he was sorry, and then left the store.

PART 8

My one goal in the summer of 1996 was to avoid having a TV camera stuck in my face as a reporter frantically asked me: “Don't you feel responsible for the fact that Little Jenni Myers was forced to live in a subterranean fortress until her head was eventually sawed off and her torso was discovered in luggage dropped out of a speeding windowless van off of I-287 in Far Hills?"

The genesis for this neurosis of mine came from my primary duty as an employee of Chuck E. Cheese -- tediously standing at the front of the store behind The Kid Check podium. My duty was to stamp the hands of parent and child with a day-glo number. Upon leaving the store, I would have to check the numbers of the parents and children to ensure no children were being lured to their brutal, prolonged death.

There were several aspects of the Kid Check job which did not work in my favor as I served as "the last wall" against child rape. First, the hand stamp tool we used was this broken piece of crap. Second, I was really high for a decent amount of my Kid Check duties. And third, during my sober moments, I really didn't care; the existential angst I gained from reading Camus at the workplace had yet to be scrubbed off.

There were only a few hours left in my final day of work. Hopefully, I would leave this job without being charged with an accessory crime.

-------------------

Earlier in the day, I gave my last performance as Chuck E. Cheese. I recruited two friends of mine to join me: Mark, who had sex with at least four co-workers, dressed as Jasper T. Jowls, a manchild/dog creation and Nick, who also had sex with as many as three co-workers, dressed as the freakish nightmare named Helen Henny. Nick's costume looked vaguely like a used HAZMAT suit. In addition to his beak mask, Nick also had to don tight blue spandex bike pants -- a comical sight to begin with, but considering he had thighs the size of a small office building due to his years as a mildly talented high school wrestler.

The birthday song began. I, as Chuck E. Cheese, charged out of the dressing room for one last time. And as soon as I did, Jasper T. Jowls struck me from behind with a devastating right paw swoop. I turned to witness Helen Henny kicking Jasper T. Jowls.

The brawl was on.

It lasted for several minutes, all three of us landing solid blows. At one point, I picked up a chair and hit Mark in the back. The fight ended with Mark hit Nick in the beak, thus causing the Helen Henny mask to do a complete 180.

Parents stood by, unsure of what to do. The children and our co-workers celebrated and gave us a rousing ovation.

------------------

Only two hours remained in my duties. Once again, I was left at Kid Check. And I absolutely needed to ensure that no child would be kidnapped while I stood at The Last Wall. A child was leaving the store with his mom. I looked at his hand. And then hers. His hand. and then he's. A panicked look fell on my face.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid I can't let you go. I believe you are kidnapping this child."

Her mouth dropped. Then I smiled.

"Ma'am... I'm a big kidder! Go on out and have a nice day!"

Immediately behind her was a mother/daughter duo.

looked at the daughter's hand first. And then the mom's. Daughter's. Mom's. A panicked look fell on my face.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid I can't let you go. I believe you are kidnapping this child."

She was more annoyed. Then I smiled.

"Ma'am... I'm a big kidder! Go on out and have a nice day!"

I did this for about the next two hours. Then I turned in my uniform.
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Monday, June 22, 2009

COMING SOON: The Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show!

Ladies and Gentleman, it's been a while and we missed you! Yes, it's been almost two months since the last COMIC VS. AUDIENCE COMEDY SHOW in Philadelphia and baby it's been too long. So in just a few weeks, Comicvsaudience.com and the Philly Improv Theater will proudly present a night of engaging and hilarious stand-up comedy at the lovely Shubin Theatre in downtown Philly.

Details:

The Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show!
Monday, July 6th, 2009
8PM
at the Shubin Theatre
407 Bainbridge St.
ONLY FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS (tickets on-sale soon with no creepy service fees!)

Featuring stand-up comedy by:
Carolyn Busa
Chris Cotton
Stu Kamens
Luke Cunningham (from NYC)

And host Dave Walk will have some jokes too.

And did we mention it's BYOB?!?!?
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Friday, June 19, 2009

PODCAST: Stand-up comedy from Andy Nolan

We finish up our week of stand-up comedy from the May Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show at the Shubin Theatre with the very funny Andy Nolan. Enjoy!

Subscribe to the podcast feed (iTunes)

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Listen to this episode in this nifty player (8:55):

Download this episode (as a .mp3) to take with you wherever you may go.


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Thursday, June 18, 2009

PODCAST: Stand-up by Austin comedian Kerri Lendo

Today, enjoy some more stand-up, this time by Austin, Texas comic Kerri Lendo from the May Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show at the Shubin Theatre.

Subscribe to the podcast feed (iTunes)

(Liked this episode of the podcast? Please write a review in iTunes so that we can get bigger...huge even!)

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Listen to this episode in this nifty player (6:31):

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Check back tomorrow for our last podcast!
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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

SIX QUESTIONS WITH: Jeff Kreisler

Whether it's steroids, cooking the financial books, or test scores, cheating is prevalent in today's America. In Get Rich Cheating, New York comedian Jeff Kreisler tackles this theme in satirical detail that will empower you to be all that you can be by doing what you shouldn't.

Kreisler will be performing comedy and reading from his book at Milkboy Coffee in Ardmore tonight.


How do you define "cheating" in your book?
Cheating is defined by poor-people dictionaries as "Deception by trickery, fraud, and dishonesty." Not in Get Rich Cheating, a safe place, without judgments or preconceived notions of "right" and "wrong." Cheating is broadly defined by the Cheaters English Dictionary (C.E.D.) as "Awesome personal gain by means that are illegal, immoral, and fun."

In our current economy, what's the best way for a regular person without high-profile connections to cheat/scam?
Assuming steroids are out... stalk a celebrity, accuse him or her of doing something outrageous, get on TMZ, create your own publicity, write a book or get a TV show or charge appearance fees because now you're "famous." Or, if you don't like pop culture, start a company, get investors, file fake financial figures, get a bonus, declare bankruptcy, get a bailout, get fired, get a $40 million severance. It's so easy! Everyone's doing it.

How did your background as a comedian help you in writing this book (if at all)?
It prevented me from crying. Seriously, as I researched the book, I found that cheating was so pervasive - from parents lying out their children's health to get them more time to take the SATs to the President - that I had to laugh... and channel it into what the kids call "satire."

Do comedians cheat?
Sure. Stealing jokes. That's a pretty simple cheat. Not gonna get too rich off that, but start there, then steal an act, then a script, then the skies the limit.

Do you explore the themes of this book in your stand-up?
I've always explored hypocrisy and the abuse of power in my act, and that's a big part of cheating. Now that I've written the book, I'm trying to incorporate cheating more into my act. I'm actually putting together a whole show "Get Rich Cheating" for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this August (man, that's soon).

Who is getting away with the most in the U.S. right now?
Investment banks. They just move money around, skimming off the top. Then, when they mess up, they get bailed out. Then they fudge their financials so it looks like they're doing well enough to give back the bailout money, mostly because they don't want to be told how much they can pay themselves. Banking used to be boring, now it's the best way to Get Rich Cheating.

Of course, there's also oil companies, and credit cards, and the pharmaceuticals... I've got about 336 pages chock full of who's getting away with the most...
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PODCAST: Stand-by comedy from Jack Martin

Our week of stand-up podcasts continues with this performance by Philly comic Jack Martin at the May Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show at the Shubin Theatre.

Subscribe to the podcast feed (iTunes)

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Listen to this episode in this nifty player (7:15):

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Check back later this week for more!
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

PODCAST: Stand-by from Tommy Papa

Here's some more stand-up from the May Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show at the Shubin Theatre, this time by Philly comic Tommy Papa.

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Listen to this episode in this nifty player (5:42):

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Check back later this week for more!
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Seinfeld Contest Tonight at the Kimmel Center

Folks, this is kind of cheesy but we'll pass it along. Tonight, the Kimmel Center, the beautiful state-the-art home of the The Philadelphia Orchestra, Opera Company of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Ballet, etc. will be holding Seinfeld contest:

Are you Master of your domain? Queen of the castle? Lord of the manor? Give us your best 1 minute Seinfeld bit for a chance to win 4 tickets to see Jerry Seinfeld at the Academy of Music. If you think you are Spongeworthy, then this is The Contest for you.
That one minute can either be something from Seinfeld's stand-up act or from the hit show. The complete rules explain that you'll be judged on your "dress, delivery, comedic timing and choice of material." Dress? How do you dress like Seinfeld? A suit? Or blue jeans, tucked in button-down shirt and white sneakers?

Here's Seinfeld performing on The Tonight Show w/ Johnny Carson for the first time, way before the popular sitcom. He'll be at the Academy of Music this Friday and Saturday.


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PODCAST: Stand-by from Johnny Goodtimes

On last week's C vs. A Radio Hour, we played some stand-up comedy recorded live-to-tape from the Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show this past May. Did you happy to miss it like the most of America? Well lucky for you we're podcasting it! Listen this morning to some fine stand-up comedy by Philadelphia Quizzo master and comic Johnny Goodtimes.

Subscribe to the podcast feed (iTunes)

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Listen to this episode in this nifty player (5:42):

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Check back later this week for more podcasts!
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Monday, June 15, 2009

Helium's Philly's Phunniest Contest Accepting Comics Starting Today

It's about that time of the year again for the biggest comedy competition in Philadelphia where Helium Comedy Club finds "Philly's Phunniest Person." Over the two weeks of intense competition, 150 comics will take the stage for the grand prize of $1,000. Last year, C vs. A was there almost every night with recaps and an interview with the eventual winner Kent Haines.

There's no better way to explain how it all goes down than the official rules and regulations:

Contestants must be from Philadelphia or the surrounding area.

You must perform 4:30 - 6 minutes during the preliminary rounds.

Material must be original. If it is not, you will be disqualified.

Registration will conclude July 1, 2009 or when we have reached 150 contestants.

The preliminary rounds will take place July 28 - July 30, Aug 1 and Aug 4 - Aug 6, with Aug 7 being the semi-finals and Aug 8 the finals (dates subjects to change).

Due to the number of no-shows last year, we have been forced to increase the registration fee and take payment at registration. Registration fee is $20 per person. This registration fee is non-refundable and non-transferable. The night of your preliminary round, you will receive a $15 Helium Comedy Club gift certificate at the conclusion of your performance.

Comics for each show will be picked at random and judges along with audience votes will decide who advances.

Comics can register at Helium's website (doesn't seem to work in Firefox, but we had success with Internet Explorer) or in person starting at 6PM tomorrow.

This year's competition promises to be as intense as as ever as many local comedians have gained considerable experience over the past 12 months. It may get bloody. Who do YOU think is going to win?
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Thursday, June 11, 2009

TONIGHT: The C vs. A Radio Hour!

Our bi-weekly comedy talk show returns tonight from 7-8PM EST with our friends at Gtownradio.com (The Sound From Germantown).

Your host Dave Walk will be talking to comedians, playing not-funny songs and other great stuff, so make sure to set your internet dial to Gtownradio.com.

This week on the show we'll be playing live-to-tape stand-up comedy from the May 4th Comic Vs. Audience Comedy Show at the Shubin Theatre in Philadelphia from Johnny Goodtimes, Tommy Papa, Jack Martin, Kerri Lendo and Andy Nolan. Plus, Dave will play some of his favorite stand-up recordings EVER.

Remember, that's 7-8PM TONIGHT Eastern Standard Time U.S.A., streaming at Gtownradio.com.

By the way, you can listen to G-Town Radio on your iPhone or iPod Touch!
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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

PODCAST: Potential Podcast #2 with Chip Chantry, Kent Haines and Dave Walk

This time on the Potential Podcast: a rambling, disjointed series of discussions as Chip Chantry and Dave Walk welcome Philadelphia stand-up comic KENT HAINES, 2008's Philly's Phunniest Person. Topics discussed: The Monkees, pandering, Dom Deluise (this episode was recorded shortly after he passed away), high school, and, of course, comedy.

Subscribe to the podcast feed (iTunes)

(Liked this episode of the podcast? Please write a review in iTunes so that we can get bigger...huge even!)

Subscribe to the podcast feed (in another podcast reader)

Listen to this episode in this nifty player (1:11:22):

Download this episode (as a .mp3) to take with you wherever you may go.

And since audio is never enough, here's some somewhat unnecessary video of Chip Chantry describing what he is wearing in the studio:

Previously
Potential Podcast #1 w/ Dave Walk, Chip Chantry and Aaron Hertzog.
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Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Quick Bites

A few quick things to get your through this rainy Philadelphia Tuesday (and if you don't live in Philly, feel free to use this however you please):

Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins canceled? NOOOOOO!!!

Adam Carolla talks with Bob Odenkirk today on his podcast.

Dave Hill bravely rockin' out in Philly on the same night as Hagar.

Acclaimed podcast Never Not Funny was interviewed by The Sound of Young America. For more Jimmy Pardo, check out our interview from last December.

UsedWigs is doing their first live show this Friday at Ardmore's Milkboy Coffee with music by Audible, comedy by Don Weir and much more.

Last Tuesday, Tom Scharpling did a SIX HOUR Best Show on WFMU with Paul F. Tompkins and John Hodgman in the studio. We haven't listened to all of it yet, was it funny?

Speaking of The Best Show, "Alvaro from Glen Mills" (Pennsylvania, that is) submitted his rap song for the show on-air a few weeks ago. Alvaro is part of the comedy podcast Two Mustaches.

G4's Web Soup with Chris Hardwick premiered last Sunday and Comedy Central's Tosh.0 with Daniel Tosh has begun as well.

The Second City/Philadelphia partnership has a blog. There isn't much on it yet, but expect more with the debut less than a month away.


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Monday, June 8, 2009

Philadelphia Improv Festival is now accepting applications


It was recently announced that the Philadelphia Improv Festival, now in its fifth year, will be October 1-3 at the Society Hill Playhouse (507 S. 8th) and the festival is now accepting applications. Last year's festival presented 52 improv groups in all and was a good mix of local favorites with out-of-towners from as far away as Phoenix and Los Angeles.

The Society Hill Playhouse, off of South Street, is a new venue for the festival, which was held last year at the Plays and Players Theater downtown. Last November, C vs. A interviewed the producers of the festival (Rick Horner is no longer part of the team, Jason Stockdale takes his place).
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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Kent Haines ends "Why Am I Not Famous?!?" tonight

In the Philadelphia comedy scene, some people perform because it's fun and others want to be famous. But there is only one comedian that specifically talks about his attempts at fame on stage. That would be 2008's Philly's Phunniest winner and Birmingham, Alabama native Kent Haines. Tonight his run of his monthly talk show "Why Am I Not Famous?!?", in which he would strive to become famous in a different way each month, comes to an end at The Actor's Center (257 North 3rd) at 8PM. We caught up with Kent over e-mail recently to talk about the show.

1. Why are you ending "Why Am I Not Famous?!?"
Well, I set out to become famous, and that has not happened. So I'm taking my ball and going home. You guys can just play tag if you want to hang out with each other so bad. The actual answer is that I am going to grad school starting in July and I won't have time to write the show anymore.

2. What is the main thing that you learned from doing this show over the past year?
I've found that often the best way to write something is to force an inescapable deadline on yourself. I started the show because I wanted to write a form of comedy other than stand-up, and I feel pretty happy with some of the things I've done as a result. If I didn't start from the beginning saying "Ok, it's a monthly show," I would have bailed on these ideas over and over. Every month I think about canceling the show, and then every month I have a super fun time. But now I am canceling the show. If there's a lesson in there, I'm missing it.

3. Do you think you've become any more famous because of the show?
Judging from the audience I pull each month, there is nothing that has helped my fame less. But with any luck it will become legendary over the years, like that first Velvet Underground show.

4. Last Sunday you brought the show in New York City. How did that go?
New York was really great! I had Max Silvestri and Lance Rubin on the show, both of whom are excellent comedians. A lot of old friends from high school and college came out to see it, which led to a weird iteration of the standard reunion. Less "let's hang out" and more "let's watch me!!!"

5. Do you have any favorite moments from the show? Favorite guests?
The best part of the show has been booking my friends, so basically all of my guests have been great (except Johnny Goodtimes, who I rebuke and shun forevermore). Some of my favorite moments were singing along with political candidate Eugene Grant (Kevin Scott), watching the Extraordinaires turn the whole crowd into diehard fans in two songs' time, and arguing with Aaron Hertzog. But those all sound boring if you didn't see them, so I'll add shoving a dildo through one of Doogie Horner's books.

6. Where does Kent Haines' career go from here? What will you do now to become famous?
I think I'm going to go the Sasha Grey route for the next couple years. "Oh my god, he bangs people and reads books! What an enigma!"


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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

PODCAST: Christian Finnegan

Christian Finnegan is a New York City stand-up comedian that has been on The Dave Chappelle Show, Best Week Ever, and Countdown with Keith Olbermann. His new stand-up special, Au Contraire!, which was filmed in Philadelphia the The Trocadero, is out now on CD and DVD. Before and after his recent show at Helium Comedy Club, he talked about filming the special in the fair city and much more.

Subscribe to the podcast feed (iTunes)

(Liked this episode of the podcast? Please write a review in iTunes so that we can get bigger...huge even!)

Subscribe to the podcast feed (in another podcast reader)

Listen to this episode in this nifty player (26:00):

Download this episode (as a .mp3) to take with you wherever you may go.


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TICKET GIVEAWAY: TuRae at The Troc

Oh and you thought we were done giving away tickets. Nope! It's like we're Oprah over here! This Thursday, native Philadelphian and stand-up comedian TuRae will be taking the stage at The Trocadero to film his new one-hour comedy special "No Limitations". Since starting comedy as a Temple student in the late 90s, TuRae has performed on BET's Comic View and Def Comedy Jam. Here he is on the HBO show:

Elsewhere he's performed with Bill Burr, Cedric The Entertainer, Katt Williams, Dom Irrera, and even musicians Gil Scot-Heron, Patti Labelle, and Alicia Keys.

To enter the random drawing for a pair of tickets, e-mail comicvsaudience AT gmail DOT com with the subject "TuRae" and your full name by Thursday noon. The winner will be chosen at random.


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TICKET GIVEAWAY: Steven Wright at the Keswick Theatre

It figures that it would take a long time to write surreal and strange jokes like Steven Wright does. In 1985, Wright released his first stand-up album I Have A Pony and it would take him 22 years to release his second, 2007's I Still Have A Pony. And he doesn't seem to tour much either, which makes his appearance at the Keswick Theatre outside of Philadelphia this Thursday so special. And we're giving away a pair of tickets! To enter, e-mail comicvsaudience AT gmail DOT com with the subject "I MAY HAVE A PONY" and your full name by Thursday noon. The winner will be chosen at random.

In 1982, Wright essentially put Boston stand-up comedy on the map when he appeared on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson twice in less than a week at the host's request. At the time, his style must have stood out not only within in Boston, but to the rest of the country. Who IS this guy, and how is he making me laugh? Over 25 years old, this set is still original today and the jokes still hold up.

More recently he's traded jokes with Chris Rock at Comedy Central's Night Of Too Many Stars: An Overbooked Concert for Autism Education:

And more recently he's been popping up unexpectedly on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson:

So don't miss out! E-mail comicvsaudience AT gmail DOT com with the subject "I MAY HAVE A PONY" and your full name by Thursday noon. The winner will be chosen at random.


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Monday, June 1, 2009

PODCAST: A New Yorker Call In

As previously mentioned, last Thursday's C vs. A Radio Hour was prerecorded due to the live Comic Vs. Audience stand-up show the same evening at Under Saint Mark's in New York City. But this did not stop a New Yorker from calling in to host Dave Walk with a warning...listen below!

Subscribe to the podcast feed (iTunes)

If this doesn't directly take you to iTunes, copy and paste http://feeds.feedburner.com/cvsa_podcast_feed into iTunes through Advanced - Subscribe to Podcast...)

(Feel free to write a review in iTunes!)

Subscribe to the podcast feed (in another podcast reader)

Listen to this episode (5:19):

Download this episode (as a .mp3)


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