INTERVIEW: Todd Glass

Todd Glass really loves comedy. After arriving in Philadelphia last Saturday, he stopped by the Helium Comedy Club to catch Tom Wilson perform. "He was one of the first comics I ever saw when I was 16." At that young age, Glass started performing in Philadelphia and he never stopped. He eventually moved out to Los Angeles and today he is a nationally touring stand-up comedian. He's performed stand-up on late night TV, was a finalist on Last Comic Standing and is in the current season of The Sarah Silverman Program. He's had his own half-hour Comedy Central Presents stand-up special and will have a new CD released on Comedy Central Records early next year (he'll release his own DVD soon as well). He also has his own podcast, "Comedy and Everything Else", which he does with stand-up Jimmy Dore and Stefane Zamorano.

And tonight through Saturday he's back in Philadelphia performing at Helium (2031 Sansom).

How did you get started in comedy?
There was a club back then called the Comedy Works. I'd like to think that I knew what good comedy was, but in hindsight, the owner of that club had good taste in comedy. Meaning he got it, some people get it, some people don't. He was bringing in Dennis Miller, Paul Reiser, Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, Gilbert Gottfried, Richard Lewis, Eddie Murphy, Roseanne Barr and I would go there to see shows. And then I found out they had an open mic night on Wednesdays and I went and the first time I didn't get on, but the second time I did. And I don't think I've gone one month from doing a show since that day. Probably not even a week, but definitely not a month since that day.

Was it hard to get stage time back then?
I did the one open mic night every week and whatever other jobs that came up around town, so I was actually getting on stage a decent amount.

How did the older, more established comedians treat you?
Everyone was pretty nice to me. And then when I started hosting on the weekends and the bigger acts would come through, they were always really nice and helpful and supportive. I think I probably seemed open for advice, so I always got a lot of it and I took constructive criticism.

Was comedy really popular in Philadelphia then?
Yeah when I started going to see it in '83 or something, comedy was really popular because back then every city didn't have a comedy club. So comedy was really popular. And it will always be popular. It will never not be popular. I think people confuse that with the over-abundance of clubs, but some of the shitty ones will die out and people are always coming out to the shows.

Did it seem like the comedians were the local rockstars then?
There was a period where it was just out of control. The joke was you'd walk into any place and they'd say "you're with a comic?" and they'd give you free stuff. But like I said, comedy will be around forever. I've said it a million times and I'll say it a million more, I think it was a crime that there was no legimitate comedy club in Philly for a while. But the bigger crime was that it wasn't written about. It's like all of the entertainment reporters were ok that there was no scene in Philadelphia and I thought, "do they not know that there are people out there?" Look at all of the acts that come through Helium. Philly just never had, for a lack of a better word, a really hip comedy club that booked the Mitch Hedbergs, the Dave Attells and Dana Gould and Paul F. Tompkins. So it's really cool that there's a legitimate club in Philadelphia.

Was there a certain style to Philadelphia comedy?
I don't think there's a certain style to a city, I think it's based on the entertainer. Everyone has a favorite comedian and when you first start doing comedy you probably emulate someone that you like. Back then I was probably emulating Paul Reiser and Jerry Seinfeld, guys like that. And then hopefully you find your own voice and that takes a while. But I got to see a lot of good stand-ups and I think the one thing that helped me grow more than anything was that people would come up to me after seeing Gilbert Gottfried or Richard Lewis and they would say "yeah, but you're funny" and the only thing that allowed me to grow is that I knew that they were wrong. Now you might think that the audience member can't be wrong, they're complimenting you and you're telling them that you're wrong? Well, in a way, yes, I knew that that was not what I wanted. I knew that I wanted to be as unique as Gilbert Gottfried or Richard Lewis. I knew that they just liked me because I was digestable. And I would have believed that I was better than them, I never would have grown. So at 17 or 18 years old and I don't know why, but I never took the compliment and wore it as a badge. I knew when it was a loud, dumb audience and they were just buying me because I was new and my material was beige-r.

I like how you can be serious on your podcast and you're not trying to be funny every second.
Yeah, we set a rule for ourselves which is the same rule we set for ourselves if we are sitting around hanging out. One minute you're silly, the next minute you're serious, there's no rule, we just let the evening take it's course and it's a lot of fun. Someone gave us a review that said we were a mixture of George Carlin and Phil Donahue. And I fucking love that!

And you do an impression of Phil Donahue...
Yeah, it was just a coincidence, I don't even think they knew I did Phil Donahue, but I take that mixture as a compliment because we have no problem stating our views clearly and I enjoy it immensely. I would think people would love [the podcast] or hate it. And our audience is growing pretty quick.

Do people talk to you after shows about it?
It's funny that you say that because over the years people have come out because of my half-hour special [for Comedy Central] or from doing Jimmy Kimmel, but a lot of people are coming up and saying "yeah, we listen to the podcast." And I hope that that would be the case because I believe that anyone that enjoys the podcast would be the type of people that I would enjoy being with. Obviously we would have a lot of the same views. And they always seem to be, and maybe it's self-indulgent for me to say this, but whenever people come up to me after the show and say "hey, I love the podcast", it just seems like they are usually pretty smart people.

I heard you say once that you like the podcast because you say things that you wouldn't say in your act...
Well, it's not that I'm afraid, it's just that I love doing stand-up more than anything else in the world, but there's something about the podcast that you're allowed to be preachy. The vehicle allows it. Hopefully you're funny when you do it, but you're allowed to just go off on a tangent and just give your opinion and not worry about being funny for a few minutes and then you are funny. I wouldn't want to do that in my act, I'm not complaining that I can't do that in my act. People are coming out to see stand-up comedy and that's what they should get. That's not to say that you shouldn't have a point of view, but you have to make it funny. You owe that to an audience to make it funny. On the podcast you don't. You hope it's entertaining, but if five minutes goes by and it's not "ha ha" funny, that's ok. I wouldn't want to just do stand-up and I wouldn't want to just do the podcast, I like getting the chance to do both.

On the podcast you express your side of an issue, but you're also able to look at it from a different angle. Do you do that in your stand-up too?
I try. The only way to change people's opinions and to get into their mindset and try to guess what they're thinking. I know I do that a lot on the podcast and I'm always wondering if there's someone out there just boiling because we aren't looking at something from their point of view. And I try to do that in my act too.

What do you do in your free time when you're not doing comedy?
I love doing stand-up, but if I'm not doing that I usually like to hang out with my comedian friends. It doesn't get more fun than that, just hanging out with other comics is just fun. I never get tired of it. And as you know if you listen to the podcast, we're silly a lot, but we're also serious and it's just fun. Sometimes I'll go to the comedy festivals and get to hang out with other comics and it's my favorite thing in the world to do.

Just fast-forward to 6:20 (it's worth it)
Read more...

LOCAL COMEDY NEWS: Monthly show Die, Actor, Die ending next week

The Die, Actor, Die comedy show at The Khyber, hosted by Don Montrey, has been a staple of the "alt-comedy" scene in Philadelphia for the last two years. Actually, that isn't quite accurate because when the show began in December of 2006, there weren't many alt-comedy shows like there are today. Throughout the show's reign, it connected sketch, stand-up and other aspects of the local comedy community under one roof.

So it is with some sadness that we report that Don will host the last Die, Actor, Die show this upcoming Monday. For Don, there are a few reasons why he decided to end the show: "burn out, a desire to try new things, home life."

"I am going to be a Daddy again in April and I will need as much free time as possible before, during and after," Don says.

Don's got other comedy plans of course. He'll be working with the 1812 Productions again in the future and hopes to direct more sketch groups (he directed Meg & Rob's Fringe show this past summer). And of course he hopes to perform as much as possible on other shows. (We interviewed Mr. Montrey in June of this year)

"I met so many great and funny people at the show; people who I admire and respect and who are just so damned funny. I feel very fortunate to know all of them and it was all through DIE ACTOR DIE. It's pretty cool when you create something with a point of view that draws like-minded people out of the woodwork. It was a cool place to network as comedians; I really dug that."

The last show will feature performances by Doogie Horner, Chip Chantry, Pat House, Gregg Gethard, Rowan & Hastings, Dave Jadico, and Alex Bechtel plus a few surprises. And it's free (the show is usually $5)! "Call it a Christmas/Hannukah/Thank You present," says Don.
Read more...

THE GREATEST LOCAL COMMERCIAL: Steak 'Em Up

Any Monday night Monday Night Football viewer this year will recognize our first nomination for Greatest Local Commercial: Steak 'Em Up.

A breakdown of why this commercial is so great:

:00: You may not notice the first time you watch this commercial that the mobster character sings the words "steak 'em up!" in time with the music. It's one of the reasons that this commercial is so great: it's re-watchable. Like any great film, you see more everytime you watch it. The mobster singing is just a small wrinkle that promises that there is still greatness to come.
:02: The bullet holes = really classy. "Breakfast, lunch and dinner!"
:07: It's around this point that you realize that all of the food is revolving in this commercial. We've been told that this makes it look more delicious.
:10: Gunshot! Ice cream! At this point the commercial is only 1/3 over and there's so much promise of good stuff to come.
:16: Screen split four ways by revolving foods. No freakin' way! We didn't know that as even possible!
:23: And finally, the big closer. At first we didn't know what the bed music was, but now here it becomes apparent that it is a parody of The Cars' seminal 1981 hit "Shake It Up":

Dance all night
And work all day
I know what I want to eat today
Steak 'Em up!

It's interesting that they replaced the original words in the second line with "work all day". If you're dancing all night, when do you get some shuteye? Perhaps the cheesesteaks contain caffeine that keeps you awake?

The jingle's creator explains its genesis here.

:29: Of course, the gangster sings the restaurant's title again as the four split screen returns. That's Commercials 101, folks: put all of the best elements of the commercial back in for the "tag". By now it's just a victory lap, over the last 30 seconds, the commercial proved that it was the best. Amazing!

By the way, we didn't post this commercial to Youtube, it was already uploaded by someone else. So let us all now go out into the world and spread the cult of "Steak 'Em Up!"

Have a local commercial that you'd like to nominate as Philadelphia's best? E-mail us at comicvsaudience AT gmail DOT com.
Read more...

RECAP: The Dave Hill Explosion, 12/5

This past weekend, New York City comedian Dave Hill made his triumphant return to the Shubin Theatre during the Philly Improv Theater's week of shows there.

After reading a story from his memoirs about "gay socks", Hill informed the crowd that he wouldn't perform his crowd-pleasing Explosion theme song. Instead, he would perform a new routine that he required a small animal. Luckily, there was one in the crowd: a chihuahua named Zoe.
And then Dave performed the Dave Hill Explosion theme song anyway.







-Dave's first guest was Philadelphia Inquirer columnist and reporter Karen Heller. Over her almost 20 years there, we learned that she's been yelled at by Zsa Zsa Gabor, had Bruce Willis shove his feet into her face and holds the distinction of being the first woman to tour the D.C. sewer system. She was also a 2001 Pultizer Prize finalist for commentary, which Dave certainly had some questions about.

- Dave's interview style usually entails layering question upon question to the point where the interviewee only gives a short response. It wasn't annoying though, everyone was just interested to hear what he was going to say next.

- One standout gem: as the discussion shifted to the time that racist Senator Strom Thurmond asked Ms. Heller to sit on his lap (she politely declined), Karen questioned if Dave was old enough to know who Strom Thurmond was. Hill's reply: "I know enough to be glad he's dead."As the interview drew to a close, Dave played a song he wrote about Ms. Heller. It required the audience to clap along, of course.
- Performing next was Bret Tobias from the defunct Philadelphia band The Bigger Lovers. He played two songs and unfortunately there was no time for an interview. And so concluded The Dave Hill Explosion.
Read more...

The Comedy Death Ray 2009 Calendar

COMEDY DEATH-RAY 2009 12-MONTH CALENDAR

The world's greatest comedy show is coming to a wall near you! This gorgeous, hand-numbered, collector's piece is not only informative, containing the correct dates for 2009, but features your favorite CDR stars in unique theme photos taken exclusively for this collection!

With photos of:

SARAH SILVERMAN
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
PATTON OSWALT
BOB ODENKIRK
PAUL F. TOMPKINS
HUMAN GIANT
JIMMY PARDO
BRIAN POSEHN
DOUG BENSON
HARD 'N' PHIRM
MATT BESSER
THE FUN BUNCH
TODD GLASS
JAMES ADOMIAN
NICK KROLL
CRACKED OUT
BRANDON JOHNSON
GRAHAM ELWOOD
NATASHA LEGGERO
MORGAN MURPHY
JACKIE CLARKE
BRODY STEVENS
TIG NOTARO
STEVE AGEE

BONUS!

Jimmy Pardo and Scott Aukerman commit their beloved yuletide duets to compact disc for your listening -- and laughing -- pleasure! Straight from the legendary annual Comedy Death-Ray Christmas spectacular, Jimmy and Scott pay tribute to David Bowie and Bing Crosby's classic "Little Drummer Boy / Peace on Earth," complete with intro sketch! On Side B, you'll experience "Baby, It's Cold Outside" in a whole new way -- really! "Never Not Christmas" will not be sold in stores, and is only available as a free gift with your purchase of the Comedy Death-Ray 2009 calendar -- so order today!

Now you know what you can get us for the holidays!
Read more...

DEAF COMEDY JAMZ: Teen Punks in Heat

DEAF COMEDY JAMZ is a new (hopefully) weekly feature on music.

Here, we analyze the last record by the band Screeching Weasel.

The band I listened to most in middle school and high school was the Ramones, but Screeching Weasel was right behind them. This wasn't surprising at all considering that Screeching Weasel led the late-80s/early 90's Ramones revival movement known as "pop-punk".

Screeching Weasel was started and lead by one Ben Foster, aka "Ben Weasel". He was a Reagan-loving nihilist that wrote for the most important punk rock publication Maximumrocknroll. For this mag he wrote a controversial article about the punk rock "scene" with, if I remember correctly, rules of what was and what wasn't considered punk rock. I can't really look this up because MRR is (or at least used to be) anti-internet. Ben probably wasn't the most qualified person to write such an article, considering that he lived in Chicago, thousands of miles away from the 824 Gilman St. scene that MRR was part of. Also, Screeching Weasel stopped performing live in 1994; it was later learned that Ben Weasel suffered from extreme agoraphobia, eliminating him from part of a "scene".

If you were to compare to him a member of the Ramones, it would definitely be Johnny Ramone due to his love of conservative thought and baseball. His Wikipedia entry is regrettably too small, but it does mention that he is now the host of a weekly radio show for ESPN 1070 in Madison, Wisconsin (where he has lived for the past few years). The entry's writer gets in a subtle jab: "which is a Clear Channel station." Oooohh, burn.

With a nasally voice and a limited range, he was the perfect punk rock singer. And like the Ramones, he knew how to write a melody. Although there were other singers and writers for Screeching Weasel songs, it was always his band. He knew what The Kids (like me) wanted, and it seemed that he even had us in mind when he wrote the lyrics. Later he would start the Panic Button Records label, churning out pop-punk records by other bands that I would love as well. He was the Phil Spector of pop-punk. Or the Dr. Dre of pop-punk if you need something more current. Ok, the Kanye West of pop-punk.

The 8th and 9th-grade years of my life were spent delivering newspapers after school and spending most of the money I made by sending money orders to Lookout! Records for CDs, 7"s, stickers, pins and t-shirts of my favorite pop-punk bands. This was before there was much of an internet so you had to decide on what you were going to buy based off of the small cards that came inside the CDs of other Lookout! releases. These albums were rarely at the mall's music store, and besides, why pay $17.99 when you could just wait a few weeks and get it for $10? Screeching Weasel was the focal point of all of this for me and to this day I pretty much own everything they have ever released.

Yet, Ben Weasel was a hard guy to like and defend. He seemed to revel in being an asshole that a lot of people hated (or so it seemed). He was a famous curmudgeon, inspiring the Queers song "Ben Weasel" (He rants and raves, he screams and shouts / He always flips his lid / But deep down inside / He really loves you kids) and the No Empathy song "Ben Weasel Don't Like It". Reading his articles, I knew I hated Reagan even though I wasn't completely sure why yet. I didn't really like Screeching Weasel because of the lyrics, and the music itself didn't divert much from the same four-chords in different orders. My love for the band didn't make sense. And even though I didn't like him, Ben Weasel was my hero. Looking back on it now, I think he just personified the love/hate of life that I also felt as a bored, internally-rebellious teenager.

Screeching Weasel broke up for real in 1994, but then got back together to put out a few new albums, a Ramones cover album and a rarities album in the late 90s as proteges Green Day broke big. In 1999, the band released Emo, a raw, honest and decidedly not pop-punk album.

And then in 2000 they went back to the old bullshit with Teen Punks in Heat for one last go-around.

By this point I was a senior in high school and was for the most part over Screeching Weasel, but I bought this album anyway. Ben Weasel was doing everything in the band now: he sang all of the songs and wrote all of the music. He was backed by his trusty sidekick "Jughead" on guitar and essentially punk rock session players in drummer Dan Lumley, bassist/producer Mass Giorgini and guitarist Philip Hill (quick side note: it's hard to digest that there were punk rock session players, but these guys pretty much were).

And when the album isn't being ridiculous and embarrassing (like in "Erection": erection, erection it's hard / erection, erection oh god!) it can't seem to get away from the past and the victorious days of pop-punk yore that were diminishing with every passing day. Weasel was preoccupied with either regret ("Pauline", "The Edge of the World", "Things Seem All Fucked Up Today"), revenge ("You're Sorry Now", "21 Months") or how the kids sucked now. The standout song for the latter subject is "You're The Enemy". The song starts with Weasel sarcastically yelping "this one's for the kids!" and then as the music kicks in: I stand here bored and look at you / Clapping like monkeys in the zoo. He was essentially trashing the lame Oi! kids depicted on the cover; the song was the sonic equivalent of the guys in the hazmat suits annihilating them.

But the next song is the turning point in the album: "I Wanna Fuck". Played at the speed and aggressiveness of so many lame Casualties songs that he mocked in "You're The Enemy", as if to say, "we can do this too," Weasel sings about how much he wants to have sex: I wanna sweat, I wanna scream, I wanna make you my wet dream come true. How much do you want to copulate, Ben? I wanna fucking overdose on pussy. Well, then.

Listen to "I Wanna Fuck":

It's the strangest Screeching Weasel song ever. Where do you go from there? Nowhere but potentially the most punk rock lyrics ever in "Message in a Beer Bottle":

I've got a message for you: I've done okay in spite of you
I've got a message for you: I did the things you said not to do
I've got a message for you: I never saw your point of view
I've got a message for you: F - U - C - K - Y - O - U
I've got a message for you: I fucked it up and I still turned out okay and I'm happy being everything you hate
I'm still walking like a jerk out in the rain
I still wake up with a smile on my face

Listen to "Message in a Beer Bottle":

Seriously, what is more punk rock than that? Yeah yeah, scream about drugs and hating the government, to which I reply: snooze! But to reject everyone, even the person listening to the song? Well, ok, you've trumped me there.

The album fades after this and when it was over, Screeching Weasel ceased to exist. A bunch of their albums were re-released on Asian Man Records (did you know The Queers are still making new music?!?) a few years ago and another greatest hits compilation may have been released as well. And since Teen Punks In Heat, Ben Weasel seems to have mellowed out as well. He's got a digital-download only record label, he does the aforementioned radio show and he Twitters. It seems like he's embracing technology and living a more relaxed life.

And ultimately, I still love him. So Ben, if you're reading this, know that I don't hate you. I just bought your new album and the third Riverdales album on iTunes, I plan on digesting the last year of your radio show over the next few weeks and maybe I'll even read your book Like Hell. And I can't stop listening to Teen Punks In Heat. -Dave Walk
Read more...

SCHMUCKS: Groucho Marx Meets Lenny Bruce

We know what you're thinking..."but, but" - it's a play, silly! Written by former stand-up comedian Roy Smiles, Schmucks makes it's U.S. Premiere at the Wilma Theater this week and runs through January 4th of next year. It's about a fictitious meeting between Lenny Bruce and Groucho Marx:

It’s 1965, and the great Northeast Blackout thrusts New York City into a state of panic and disorder. Isolated in a small diner, a young stand-up comic, Joe Klein, with an upcoming gig on The Ed Sullivan Show encounters comedy legends Groucho Marx and Lenny Bruce and implores them for comedic guidance, unleashing their unpredictably edgy and comic personas. As the two comedians clash over whose act is funnier and more relevant, the intensity quickly increases in a whirlwind of witty one-liners, zany antics, and uncensored punch lines.

This imaginative comedy exposes the secret motives that drove these two famed comedians to make people laugh as the characters spar over the purpose of comedy in society. Today, a current generation of comedians like Jon Stewart, Chris Rock, Bill Maher and Sarah Silverman have followed in the footsteps of Marx and Bruce and put their mark on the cultural landscape with their spin on topics like politics, race, and religion.

Here's Lenny Bruce on the Steve Allen Show in 1959:

And Groucho Marx on his radio/TV show "You Bet Your Life" (which is now being done live by Jimmy Pardo at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles):

Read more...

ACTING CLASS, Part 8 by Gregg Gethard

Things just seem to happen to Gregg Gethard. After telling a few stories at comedy shows in New York City, he created his own monthly show in Philly, BEDTIME STORIES, to tell a few more. Over the past two years the show has grown in audience and features some of the best comics in the city.

Here, Gregg ends his eight-part series on an acting class he took in Montclair, New Jersey. [Read Part I, II, III, IV, V, VI and VII]

The final Bedtime Stories at the Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge St.) is TONIGHT at 8PM, $10.

WEEK 8

I think Green Day said it best. My acting class was another turning point, the proverbial fork stuck in the road. I surely did have the time of my life, even though I now know less about acting than I did before I actually took this class.

I come before you a changed man. A better man. Only a few weeks ago, I was not an actor. I did not know how to "center" myself. I did not know how to observe a grown man's shoddily grown mustache. I knew nothing about who I was and where I stood.

As I rehash the past eight weeks, I think of a lot. I think of Bob's encouragement, his "can do" attitude that I will keep with me for eternity. I think of the Hemaphroditic German's empty smile as she talks about a baby she may or may not have stolen from a Greyhound bus station. I think of the shapeliness of The Latino Bohunk's dick, Bob’s consistent performance-related anxiety attacks, the lady who enjoyed my earlobes, my bizarre fetish for the shoes of The Cute Girl and the potential lyrics of a musical about a real-estate selling bisexual witch. I also think about how fucking nuts it is to think that everyone, no matter their station in life, wants to have at least a few minutes of fame. We’re all almost famous.

But mostly, I think of how I went home each Monday night thinking about getting my parents to change the locks on our doors, in case any of these drifters followed me home.

Tonight's class began with Sagging Boobs handing us fliers.

"I'm in a rock band, and we're having a show around the corner next week."

She described her band (their name is c9) as sounding like Natalie Merchant or Sheryl Crow. They also have a webpage that features song clips ("When They Take You To Heaven," "Firefly," "Little Mother of Mexico"). The band describes their songs as having "sultry intensity" which I found myself slightly disagreeing with when I listened to them when I got home-- I was thinking they were more along the lines of "boring chick rock."

No one wanted to perform first (Bob insisted that someone who missed class last week went first) so I offered to break the ice. As I was asking, he simply said "no" and forced the Hemaphroditic German to get up on stage.

"I did not practice this because my little boy was running around me today," she said. Bob told her that was okay and told her to read.

"He showed me. He showed me a lot. That barn door is cobalt blue. That is what painters say. Then he told me they were taking the chains," she said. "He taught me lots. And I ain't ever forget any of it. I now remember that the moonlight and the snow aren't white. They are every color at once. He taught me that. All of that."

I was not sure what any of that meant. It was maybe about a farmer? Who knows. Bob made her redo the scene several times, each time I just got more and more confused.

"I think that this piece is perfect for you," Bob said. "It's a very pretty piece. I think you, as a person, are like this piece. I think you are very delicate and simple-- wait, wait. I didn't mean it like that."

The Overly Competitive Hindu asked: "You meant she was simple in a good way, right?"

"Exactly, exactly," Bob said. "You have a childlike innocence. I think you are like fine china."

The entire time this was going on, the Hemaphroditic German just smiled at these descriptions of herself that I do not think she understood.

Up next came Interchangeable Housewive #2 (#1 and #3 were not there), who carried a minimalist Barbie Doll with her on stage.

"Okay, class. That's what sex is to you," she said, pausing. "I want you to know that sex is very, very personal. Except if it involves two people. Wait, I don't mean that. Sex is great, unless if it involves a guy."

She then continued her monologue, reading from a book called "Women '98."

"Men are here to crush all our dreams. The only thing he can do is handle a remote control, which is his electronic phallus."

Interchangeable Steel Magnolia Fan #2 occasionally flubbed her lines, blaming it on her nerves.

"Don't be nervous. We are all here holding you up. If you fall, we will catch you. We have strong, welcoming arms," Bob said. "Just circle the scene. Become a shark."

I went next. This time, I read an excerpt of something I just wrote about the time I worked at a supermarket. Everyone seemed to like it. Bob said that I had the potential to turn the story into "b-grade Spalding Gray."

Sagging Boobs came up to me after my performance. "Do you know what your scene could use more of? Puppets. You could turn this into a really great puppet show."

The Overly Competitive Hindu and The Latino Bohunk set up a scene involving a coffee table that The Overly Competitive Hindu brought from home. They performed a scene from True West, with the Overly Competitive Hindu typing as The Latino Bohunk's character recited what he wanted in a future movie.

They went through the scene about seven times. During each break, as Bob explained the alterations he wanted made, The Overly Competitive Hindu would continue to pantomime typing.

After their last scene, the two performers felt like they had nailed it. The Overly Competitive Hindu slapped The Latino Bohunk five.

"Great. Absolutely great," raved Bob, looking at The Latino Bohunk. "I think that would be a great piece for you. That character is so you. He's a real loose cannon type."

This marked the last scene in the class. Bob bid us adieu and told us he hoped to see us on the stage some day.

"You know what, I realized something," The Overly Competitive Hindu said. "This class has been real anonymous. I don't know any of your names."

He then looked at each and every single one of us.

"I'm Al."

And everyone walked away.

------------------
Addendum
------------------

A few months later, I was at the Barnes and Noble off Route 46 in Totowa, scanning the shelves and, as always, looking at girls.

I was flipping through a fantasy football guide when I was leaving the store and bumped into someone. I looked up.

It was Al. The Overly Competitive Hindu. And he was with his son.

We made brief small talk. I asked him if he was taking the second part of the acting class -- I wanted to, but I was afraid the second part could not live up to the magic of the first.

He said he signed up for it, but they dropped the class due to poor attendance. However, he found an acting school in New York City where he was now taking classes.

“You won’t believe this. They have a whole class in mime alone!”

I then said goodbye to him. But then I turned to his son.

“By the way… your dad is one hell of an actor.”
Read more...

ADVICE: Cleft Unto The Suck

Sure, it's easy to ditch a crappy open mic or poorly-attended show, after all, who cares if you do well or not? But even if it goes horribly, there's something that can be learned from that. Merlin Mann, dubbed by many as a "productivity guru", recently wrote about his experience sucking as a photographer:

I think finding your own comfort with the process (whatever that process ends up being) might just be the whole game here — being willing to put in your time, learn the craft, and never lose the courageousness to be caught in the middle of making something you care about, even when it might be shit and you might look like an idiot fumbling to make it. What’s the worst thing that could happen?

Well, you could quit, because it’s too hard to make stuff you aren’t already great at. You could convert all that pointless effort and practice back into MySpace updates and the production of funny cat pictures. No, it’s not technically the worst thing that could happen, but it’s a damned common pathway for fear to molder back into an emotional impulse to put on jammies and watch Judge Judy.

I’m not doing anything special here, and I don’t claim to have a magic formula for creativity, let alone for getting a half-decent photo of a rubber shoe. All I know is that sticking with things that don’t arrive with instant mastery does have its own reward, even if you’re the only one who ever collects it. Because the more you push through the barriers for these little avocations, the easier it becomes to remember you always have everything you need to just keep banging until you’re satisfied with any work that’s thrown at you.

Although he's talking about taking a good picture, the thought can be easily applied to comedy. Like it or not, anything worth have takes work and even when you bomb, you can learn something.

Consider Louis CK's recent experiences starting a month-long tour of the UK. He talks about bombing his first show in Dublin (yeah, we can't believe Louis CK bombs anymore) and what he got out of it:

Moreover, I don't want any pity when I bomb. To me, bombing is a pure positive. Because it's a rare experience and it's a great education. Every great show, when you kill, is pretty much like any other great show. But every time you bomb, it is completely unique. I've never bombed the same way twice. And they stay with you, the bad sets, like Lyme disease or herpes. So I thank the people of Dublin for that.

And then the next night after a great set:

I'm glad for both sets. Actually, I learned something the first crowd. They were no geniuses, but the expereince still made me look at the material I've been doing on stage and it forced me to ask myself what of any of it is bullshit. Am I doing anything that I don't really believe in, just to get laughs?

[Hat tip to Lifehacker]
Read more...

Jones' Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage

This has been posted many other places, but we can't help ourselves. It's that funny.

Read more...

THIS WEEK: PHIT at the Shubin Theatre

It's time again for the Philly Improv Theater's week at the Shubin Theatre (407 Bainbridge St). The week actually kicked off Monday with our show, but the meat of the week is still yet to come. It promises to be an interesting week with a film screening, state of the organization address and comedians from New York City and Chicago.

Tuesday, December 2
8 p.m. - The State of PHIT: As the year closes upon us, it's time for the Philly Improv Theater to reflect on the accomplishments of 2008 and look forward to another great year of comedy. Thus the State of PHIT presentation with Artistic Director Alexis Simpson discussing the future content-wise, Founder Greg Maughan going over performer compensation and light snacks! EVERYONE is welcome to attend. You can read more about it here.

Wednesday, December 3
8 p.m. – Bedtime Stories: RICH PEOPLE, $10. Host Gregg Gethard presents the very last night of Bedtime Stories sketch, stories and other stuff at the Shubin Theatre.

10 p.m. - Why Am I Not Famous?!?: A Comedy Talk Show w/ Kent Haines, $5. Kent welcomes comedians sketch comedians Animosity Pierre and stand-up Brendan Kennedy.

Thursday, December 4
8 p.m. – The Throng & The Sketchy Players, $5. PHIT house team The Sketchy Players are joined by Haverford College's longform improv team The Throng.

10 p.m. - CAGEMATCH: Activity Book vs. reigning champ Illegal Refill. $5. CAGEMATCH pits two groups against each other for 25-minute sets that can only use one audience suggestion. The audience decides the winner by secret ballot.

Friday, December 5
8 p.m. – The Dave Hill Explosion, $10. He's back! NYC's Dave Hill brings his explosion to explode all over your exploded lap. Expect awesome explosions, guests and maybe music.

10 p.m. - Omelet with Cubed, $10. Chicago improv duo Omelet performs with local favorites Cubed.

Saturday, December 6
8 p.m. - Omelet with Cubed, $10.
10 p.m. - The Dave Hill Explosion, $10.

Sunday, December 7
3 & 7 p.m. - Film Screening: GOLD, $10. A strange relic of the 1960s counter-culture, featuring improv-guru Del Close, this movie shows what happens when hippies get their hands on a camera and waaay to much acid. A short Q&A with the people responsible for restoring the film will follow each screening.
Read more...

BREAKING: Tim & Eric to perform at The TLA, Jan. 29th, 2009

Thursday, January 29th, 2009
9PM
all ages
Tickets on-sale 12/5
Read more...