Cavemen

Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we may have watched television history. Finally the premiere of Cavemen has come. The journey from ridiculously stupid idea half-heartedly pitched in a development meeting that didn't need to happen has made it to the small screen. There have been barriers in the way and the script has had to be reworked. But now, it is finally here:

"Her Embarrassed of Caveman": Three Neanderthal pals struggle to fit into their modern suburban community. First up: Joel tries to keep his Homo-sapien girlfriend a secret.

The Best Show on WFMU covered the event live on the radio airwaves (nevermind, he said a few weeks ago that he was going to but he wasn't on-air tonight), but I thought I'd take my own notes to make sense of it all.

8:00 - Great opening. Quick banter between the boys at a party. We immediately know that each will be pegged into a different stereotypes that are to sure to always keep them clashing, with hilarious results! It wouldn't be so tough if they weren't roommates! Oh no!
8:02 - "Stick to our kind. Crave the Cave" - what can I say about that?
8:04 - Text messages, Ikea, R.Kelly references, Wikipedia, "flat ass", Wii, James Blunt - it's so ironic that these cavemen are so modern!
8:08 - This show was horribly shot. Dull color, almost out of focus. I don't have a HDTV, is it supposed to look like this? Was this show filmed on VHS? Is the DP a Caveman himself? Before the first commercial break we get a slice of the main theme of the show: the disconnect between homo-sapiens and the Cavemen. My girlfriend says it's already too preachy.
8:15 - The girlfriend of the one Caveman is a "sape". Yes, that's short for a homo-sapien. We just hit the second commercial break. Is it possible to cancel a show halfway through? Maybe just show some extra Ugly Betty promos until 8:30?
8:17 - There was a just a commercial for a car insurance company that wasn't Geico. This show is so bad that Geico wants to distance itself.
8:18 - "Keep your penis in your genus". I can't wait to see that on a t-shirt.
8:26 - THE CONFRONTATION! And, now it's over. Not really a payoff there. Kind of ended with a whimper. What can possibly happen next week? How have they not exhausted everything in that one episode?

And now Carpoolers, a show created by Bruce McCullough of Kids In The Hall. What were you thinking, man?

I'm not going to talk about this show as well, but can we stop the whole men awkwardly singing loudly in a car cliche? It's really, really old. ABC, you really honestly suck at comedy. You are not edgy and you are not irreverent. You're behind NBC, Fox and the C-SPAN as far as laughs go. They call this hour "The Man Date". Just give up.