Monday, February 18, 2008



Kent said...

So THAT'S where my malt liquor was at Bedtime Stories. Good thing I found enough Budweiser to be an asshole at Tatooed Mom's.

Anonymous said...

Kim and I were supposed to spend the day walking around art galleries. We met a few months earlier online. I was going through a really crappy time of things. I was a year out of school, spending most of my time covering assignments at a newspaper, working for a boss who once misidentified "Florida" as "Cuba." Worst of all, I had a major broken heart. I started to date Missy, the 17-year-old sister of one of my best friends. It was wrong of me to date her, but what we had was, briefly, incredible. And when it was over, it was incredibly over -- on two separate occassions, she had sex with someone while I was a mere room away.

During all of this, I met Kim online somehow. We started talking, exchanged pictures, and she thought I was cute. She lived outside of Atlantic City. My friends, who were starting their addiction to gambling, were headed down there for the weekend. I hitched a ride.

I met Kim on the boardwalk. Missy was very short and tiny. Kim, she was tall, with dark hair, and a bigger frame. She also had really interesting features. At first glance, she was pretty average looking. But the more I looked at her, the prettier she became.

We hit it off fairly well right away. We went to a diner with some of her friends, and eventually ended up walking around a casino together, sneaking into the top floor suite, where one thing led to another.

I thought that was it. That it was going to be a one-time, fun little excursion. Something that didn't make me feel like I was the biggest loser alive. My friends from college did those things all the time.

It wasn't. Kim wanted more. She wanted a relationship. I wasn't sure I could handle one of those, since my last one resulted in me undergoing therapy.

But I hated, every night, the gaping feeling of loneliness. I spent a lot of time growing up with that feeling. I equated this with never having a girlfriend. And now, now I had someone interested in me.

That feeling of emptiness never left, even when I was with Kim. It just made me feel worse. I knew it had to come to an end.

We made plans to spend the weekend together in Philly. We went out for lunch at the Philadeli. I could barely eat. She asked me what was wrong.

I told her that I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be her boyfriend. That being with her didn't make me feel better about myself.

I picked up the check. And, right outside the Philadeli, Kim said I was selfish. And that I was the worst person she ever met in her life. And she slapped me.

I stood there and took it. Because she was right. I looked at her as she stood there crying. She never looked prettier.