Wednesday, July 2, 2008

AARON HERTZOG: Same Band, Different Fans

Pearl Jam
True Fan: They incorporate so many styles, there's classic rock, punk, post-punk. They are socially and politically relevant. And you can tell they just love to play music, man, without getting caught up in all the corporate BS.

Frat Boy Fan: Dude, just, dude, bro, shut up and put on Black. You know I friggin' rock that song! I sound just like Eddie Vedder, listen bro, listen.

The Shins
Long-Time Fan: This is great pop music. They are almost a throwback to '60s rock. Catchy and melodic, it's fun music but is also really relatable.

Fan Who Saw Garden State: I totally saw Garden State.

Your Parents: This music speaks to me and my entire generation. It's just about livin' and lovin' baby. Livin' and lovin' in a little place called America.

You: Everybody! Get in here, stand around. Seriously, no, seriously, everybody get in here. You know a party is not a party until...Just a small town girl!

Hip Hop Fan: Nobody can mess with his flow, even when he's experimenting he's on another level. He's got crazy interior rhyme schemes and his wordplay and metaphors are sick!

14-Year-Old Girl: Look at him, he's so cute! Look at his eyes, baby blue, baby just like myself.

Miley Cyrus
14-Year-Old Girl: You know she's my age, right? She would, like, totally hang out with us. We should go to her concert and find her, we'll be besties for-ev.

45-Year-Old-Man: Mmmm, yeah Miley, look over that shoulder at me. You naughty girl, you. I bet I came in and you were doing something you shouldn't have been doing. Did I catch you being bad? Do you need a spanking?

Old Weezer Fan: Their songs are just so truthful, they speak to me. That's me, in my garage with the stuff that I love just day-dreaming away.

New Weezer Fan: I do not exist.

Aaron Hertzog will be performing tonight at Helium's Philly All-Stars show and at our show next Monday the 7th.

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