Tuesday, August 19, 2008

THE UNIVERSAL COMEDY FLOW CHART™ by Doogie Horner

The comedy universe is large and confusing. There are as many jokes as there are stars in the sky. Navigating through uncharted areas, without a compass and sextant, an inexperienced traveler can quickly become lost. Luckily these areas have now been charted using the Universal Comedy Flow Chart™! Now you can throw away that compass, and stop chuckling at the word “sextant.”

Like the circle of life, the heavenly bodies, and the hula hoop, the six comedic humors form a circle. In the middle of the circle is the last uncharted area of comedy—the nexus. Scientists believe the funniest joke in the world lays in this uncharted zone, at the center of the circle. Once it’s discovered, and it’s mysteries unlocked, the funniest joke will be able to power cars, planes, underwater cities, and yes, even hoverboards.

Have fun exploring the comedy universe using the Universal Comedy Flow Chart™!

WARNING: Do not stare at the nexus of the Universal Comedy Flow Chart™ for more than three seconds. Prolonged staring can cause nosebleeds, temporary blindness, and in extreme cases, mind erasure.

Click to enlarge

13 comments:

Chip Chantry said...

It all makes sense to me now.

Pruneface said...

I have dibs on the Willie Nelson smoking weed with Jesus joke.

Kent said...

I love this chart so so much. I want to frame it in my apartment.

Paolo said...

Absolutely awe-inspiring. It feels like the Rosetta Stone of funny.

Lirp said...

Did Kent Haines have early access to this chart? Phillly's funniest indeed.

lirp.org

pat barker said...

This is the greatest thing ever. I never really realized that manslaughter is both a zany misunderstanding AND and embarrassing situation, but come to think of it... it is! Gold, Doogie.

Paul Triggiani said...

That is awe-inspiring! I can't wait to hang it up in my cubicle.

**Sigh**

Doogie said...

I might turn this into a screenprint and sell it at the Ministry, I'm not sure.

Brian said...

I'm going to hand this to my extended family (whom I only see once or twice a year) the next time they ask me, "so you do the comedy, eh? What's that all about?" And then, before they know it, I'll be through the buffet style dinner before it gets cold. In short, thank you Doogie.

Matt said...

I would totally buy this from you at the Ministry. Now, are you going to tell me you made this before or after you saw our sketch about doing the six major types of standup- the sketch you "coincidentally" had us cut from the last Ministry, hmmmm? Choose your answer wisely.

Matt from Pierre

Dr Zibbs said...

Not a too shabby

Pruneface said...

Matt Pierre, you're too close to the truth. The next "coincidence" that's going to happen is I'm going to murder you and erase all traces of every sketch you've ever performed.

briancraig said...

wait a minute, doogie!

before you go and make a screenprint of this, there's a typo! you spelled "limericks" with a Y.

-b.