Manifest Destiny 2008: Secret Pants at The M Room, $10
Comic Vs. Audience will be on hiatus for the holidays (Christmas), thus the lazily posted LOLCats picture above. BUT, we'll be back next year up in yo face with tons of new stuff, so check back and have a good holiday season!
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It's Monday again and time for another Die, Actor, Die show at The Khyber (56 S. 2nd St.), 8PM, $5. Come out for jokes from:
Chip Chantry
Secret Pants
Aaron Hertzog
Gregg Gethard
Nolan Gilbride
and a Christmas Story from
Buddy Felch
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Very exciting shows coming up from the Helium Comedy Club in the upcoming year:
1/2 - 1/5 - Jo Koy
1/9 - 1/12 - Kevin Brennan
1/17 - 1/20 - Dana Gould
1/23 - 1/26 - Doug Benson
1/30 - 2/2 - Bob Marley
2/6 - 2/9 - Ted Alexandro
2/13 - 2/16 - Tom Rhodes
2/20 - 2/23 - John Heffron
2/27 - 3/1 - Jim Florentine
3/5 - 3/8 - Robert Kelly
3/12 - 3/15 - Paul Mooney
3/19 - 3/22 - Nick DiPaolo
3/26 - 3/29 - Gary Owen
Mark your calendars now and cancel all dates with loved ones and the other people that hold a special place in your heart.
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We've got more from the latest Bedtime Stories at the Shubin Theatre. The theme was dating and relationships and Samantha and Brian C. from Secret Pants went up with this:
BEDTIME STORIES is a monthly show at the Shubin Theatre where performers do sketches, monologues, readings, or whatever else around one central topic. The topic for last month's show was dating and relationships. Luckily, pick-up artist Diz (aka Kent Haines) was there to give us a few pointers on how to get the ladies.
Dave Attell is back with a new hour of stand-up tonight on HBO at 10PM. It was filmed at the Lincoln Theatre Theatre in Washington D.C., so it will be interesting to see if his material changes when he's in a proper theatre. Probably not though.
He talks about vibrators...
As Dead Frog reports, the 2008 Comedy Grammy nominations have been been announced:
* America’s Mexican, George Lopez
* Dirty Girl, Lisa Lampanelli
* The Distant Future, Flight Of The Conchords
* I Still Have A Pony, Steven Wright
* Songs Pointed & Pointless, Harry Shearer
Two of these releases I've heard and loved, the other three I have not but am fairly sure would be a snooze. Can you guess which ones?
Would've liked to have seen Paul F. Tompkin's Impersonal or Michael Showalter's Sandwiches & Cats up there, but obviously that's out of the question. How crazy would it be to have an AST Records release up for a Grammy? And how doesn't Mike Birbiglia get a nomination? Lisa Lampanelli, seriously?
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We end our Die, Actor, Die! week with the headliner of the evening, stand-up Pat Barker. It was difficult for me to decide what to include from Pat's set as it had a lot of solid stuff, so I made my mind up on his first 5+ minutes.
Perhaps you've read, saw on the news, heard from that chatty lady at work that just won't shut up or saw Patton Oswalt & Philly Boy Roy talk about the recent Travel + Leisure poll that had Philadelphia ranked dead last in "Attractive People". Well it isn't a reason to be depressed (there are many, many other reasons for that) as local comic Aaron Hertzog is here to defend our fair city.
In case you haven’t heard, Travel + Leisure magazine recently released their list of “America’s Favorite Cities.” Guess where Philly came in? If you said “I love this city, we probably came in right near the top,” you would be in the same boat as me. That ship is named “wrong.”
The survey, conducted by travelandleisure.com and CNN Headline News polled travelers and residents about different aspects of life in 25 U.S. cities. A grand fuss was made around the city over the fact that Philadelphia ranked dead last in the “Attractive People” category. Along with being the fug-a-bugs of the nation, Philly also ranked near the bottom in Stylish People, Athletic/active People, Safety, and Worldly People (among others.)
Now, I won’t comment on the attractiveness of the people in our city (for I only see inner beauty), but I can say that the people surveyed got at least one category horribly wrong.
Philadelphia is ranked 20th out of 25 in "Worldly People". I’m not quite sure I can accurately express my outrage.
How could they say we’re not “worldly?” In fact, I would say Philadelphians are some of the worldliest worldians in the whole world.
Don’t believe me? Let me convince you then. Look at a map of Philadelphia. Go ahead, dig one out, I’ll give you time. Look around, I bet you’ll find places like Germantown, the Italian Market, and Chinatown. Last time I checked, that’s three countries already. Three whole countries in one city, sounds pretty worldly to me, and this is just a start.
If three countries aren’t enough for you, just take a stroll down good old Ben Franklin Parkway. Ignore other pedestrians and keep your eyes up as you walk. See them flags? I got news for you; they’re not flags from here. You can tell they’re from other countries because they have goofy things on them like animals and squiggles. Tell me something, how would a resident of a city that’s not worldly know how to match up all those flags with the country that they’re from? Somebody from here had to do it; those people from other places don’t even speak English.
Speaking of language, did you know that Philadelphia isn’t even an American word? Yeah, I know, totally crazy right. Philadelphia is actually a Greek word meaning “cream cheese.” Delicious.
Above all this, I think there is something that Travel + Leisure is forgetting about. I seem to recall Philadelphia giving the world a nice little present. A present known as freedom. That’s right, four score and 151 years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. So suck on that. Without this city, they wouldn’t even have the freedom to write their little magazine without censorship from the Germans.
So the next time poll comes knocking on your door asking you what you think of the people and places in different cities remember these few things. One: squiggles on flags look silly, two: cream cheese, three: freedom, and four: Travel “plus” Leisure “equals” sorely mistaken.
Aaron will be appearing at Riots Comedy in Media, PA this Friday and you can check out an interview with comedian Pat Barker on his blog
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It's Thursday and we've got two Die, Actor, Die! videos for you. A twofer! A twofer Twohursday!
One of the great things about Die, Actor, Die! is that it's pretty open to whatever the performer wants to do. Here, Fred Siegel shares us a card trick and a few laughs too.
Die, Actor, Die! week continues with sketch comedy from Meg & Rob. They performed two sketches that night and I (slightly) like this one more. I especially love how it isn't about much at all.
I told ya there'd be funny stuff! Let's start off with the stand-up comedy of Doogie Horner.
Last month's Die, Actor, Die! was a wonderful evening of Philadelphia comedy in the confines of The Khyber in Old City. Comic Vs. Audience was there to film all of the proceedings and now the time has come to share these with you! For the rest of the week we'll be posting some of the performances from the show for your enjoyment, so make sure to check back.
The host of the show, Don Montrey, began with some opening remarks and presented his audition tape for VH1's "Best Week Ever". I think it's pretty good.
