Your assassination-free comedy news of the week

Pictured: President Garfield getting assassinated

The Flight of the Conchords are coming to the Tower Theatre on May 5th and tickets go on-sale tomorrow at 10AM. Their debut album will be released on April 22nd via Sub Pop Records.

Artie Lange quits The Howard Stern show and Punchline Magazine has posted the audio. No word on the official Howard Stern website yet.

"The Daily Show" correspondent and creepy guy on Curb Your Enthusiasm and in The Ten, Rob Corddry, will play press secretary Ari Fleischer in Oliver Stone's upcoming biopic W.

A bunch of NYC comics went down to the New Orleans Comedy and Arts Festival. Recaps here and here.

During the recent WFMU marathon, the guys at the Seven Second Delay show (praised here) were waterboarded for pledges. They were suspended by the FCC for the next two shows, not because of this, but because host Andy Breckman said a naughty four letter word on-air. So: waterboarding ok, swearing, not.

Bob Odenkirk will play Mike Birbiglia's older brother in his pilot "Mike Birbiglia's Secret Public Journal". In the same article there's a brief mention of The State's Ken Marino starring in "Outnumbered", a new pilot for Fox.

So I guess it's pilot season? Odenkirk's other new show, "David's Situation", will be filming live in front of a studio audience in May.

Totally random list of the Top 50 Comedy Sketches of All Time. Ok.

The Onion's A.V. Club interview Kids In The Hall. All five of them!

If you're really desperate to see The Colbert Report here next week, here's what you can do. And don't forget your daily dose of cheese steaks at the Liberty Bell with the Rocky theme in your head! Because that's what we all do, right? Seriously, we love cheese steaks so much sometimes we wear them as hats. And every morning we jump out of bed to the bold chimes of the Liberty Bell to run up the Art Museum stairs! We also work in meat factories and enjoy flying our kites in thunderstorms. You know, Philly stuff.