Friday, September 5, 2008

HEAVY METAL BAND NAMES, a flow chart by Doogie Horner

Give me fuel, give me fire, give me...flow charts! This week's flow chart from Doogie Horner details heavy metal band names.

Click to enlarge

89 comments:

Anonymous said...

Of course there's an upside down pentagram. What a delightful bit of design!

Unknown said...

These flow charts are awesome, Doogie!

Anonymous said...

I take issue with this chart. I feel like Leaky Stigmata is more "screamo" than "heavy metal."

Anonymous said...

Doogie is clearly not a true heavy metal fan. He neglected to include The Gin Blossoms and Deep Blue Something.

For shame.

Matt said...

Well done. But! Two things:

Pantera is not foreign. I believe they're from Texas.

It's "Motley Crue," not "Motley Cru."

Now I wonder how much metal Doogie listens to. We should have Chip make a soft rock diagram next....

Anonymous said...

Ah, you're right about Motley Crue, thanks, I'll fix that. However, this chart is about band names, not the bands themselves, and Pantera is Spanish for Panther.

Anonymous said...

Awesome chart. One more potential fix, though: Ragnarok should be moved up a little bit into Viking, since it's a reference to the Nordic end times and has nothing to do with the Bible.

Anonymous said...

Mastodon is a glaring omission, but I know I wouldn't want to make the decision of whether to include them under Medieval/Viking or Animals/Real.

Anonymous said...

Fuck! Nevermind, it's right there under Extinct, exactly where it belongs.
You win!

WackSnackAttack said...

ALso, Avenged Sevenfold should be added to the list under Biblical, as they are at least as metal as Def Leppard and they derive their name from the story of Cain and Abel.

Unknown said...

Dark Tranquillity (yes, TWO l's) was misspelled and misfiled under ANYTHING but pointless misspellings, and you badly need a Tolkien category.

Unknown said...

Oh - forgot to say, GREAT WORK!

JRRT names, btw: Burzum, Amon Amarth, Ephel Duath, Gorgoroth, etc

Anonymous said...

Ironically, you misspelled Led Zeppelin. It's not "Led Zepellin".

DMS said...

Too much rock for just one hand!
Awesome! However....
Shouldn't Extinct animals be a subset of Real animals and not Imaginary? And...
Pagan isn't a subset of Satanic.

Anonymous said...

Awesome chart!
Just curious, but why isn't Queensrÿche under the Umlaut category?

Anonymous said...

There could also be a "vulgar" category squeezed in there. Anal Cunt, Anal Blast, Goat Whore, twodeadsluts onegoodfuck, The Fucking Champs,

but what everyone forgets is that this is more about design and less about an academic attempt to categorize all metal band names. and for that you get 10/10

Etherwalk said...

I'm sorry but white Lions and white snakes do exist, where would you put "RothBlood" ?

Anonymous said...

This is most awesome, but it is not a flowchart, it's a taxonomy.

- A flowchart describes a series of actions and decisions.
- A taxonomy divides a group into a hierarchy of classifications.

Also, I disagree that triple-umlauts are "physically impossible". A counterexample is the band Grotus, whose name had four umlauts, one over each consonant. (Unfortunately today's primitive computer systems will not allow me to type the name in correctly.)

Anonymous said...

Spinal Tap?

Anonymous said...

You know what this means, right?

Someone needs to start a new Metal band and name it "Triple Umlaut."

Anonymous said...

Where's Cryptopsy?

Anonymous said...

Extremely awesome taxonomy, but I feel I should point out in case you ever do a revised version; Dethklok has no umlauts, it's just Dethklok, and probably belongs in pointless misspellings.

Mr.Nomoniker said...

"Mexican Santa" is in the book of Revelation? I guess I haven't been to church in a while.

Anonymous said...

I love it! I see one glaring omission though. What about Death? I think that one fits in the "death" category quite nicely.

Anonymous said...

Obvious omission, I don't see Metallica anywhere.

Anonymous said...

scratch that Metallica comment, I found it.

Unknown said...

What about guns? ie: Guns n' Roses, L.A. Guns ect.

and bondage? ie: Alice in Chains.

Low Key Lyesmith said...

Superb! Already forwarded it to a bunch of people. And the comments above isn't a bad one, either....

Anonymous said...

Awesome chart!! Putting Mexican Santa under Book of Revelation was a stroke of genius.

Unknown said...

Nice work!

My input:

(medieval) Killer Dwarfs
(foreign) Meshuggah
(intentional misp) Stryper
(deadly things) Nuclear Assault, LA Guns
(death) Six Feet Under
(general spookiness) Cannibal Corpse
(meatal) Machine Head

Donald Gold said...

Hmmm... Where would u put Method of Destruction?

Donald Gold said...

Awesome work BTW, but is it missing Celtic Frost as well?

Anonymous said...

Under "Dark" what about Nightwish

Children of Bodem

Sonata Arctica

Pain

JHM said...

YOU = BRILLIANT!

Anonymous said...

It's Children of Bodom and it would go under Death since the name refers to a lake in Southern Finland where three campers were murdered in 1960.

Judas Priest is misspelled and I would definitely add Candlemass under Religion, or maybe Death.

And yes, where's Death and Celtic Frost?

Anonymous said...

Hey, triple umlaut is not impossible.. it's not even hard to find one in Finnish metal bands names. Check out Isäntä Meidän for example

Health and Beauty Author said...

Not ahppy that Pagan Metal is linked to Satanic! Not true at all!

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Anonymous said...

I agree with "BRILLIANT"..... and what's with all these people pointing out minor little flaws, I'd like to see them get off their butts and piece together something as creative as this... GREAT WORK!!...Colly

Health and Beauty Author said...

Colly, I think we all agree it's great, but Doogie does seem to want to improve it too, so I am sure welcomes comment.

Cd-MaN said...

Great chart! And yes, it's not 100% correct, but that's not the point :-)

Flesh Socket said...

Hey, this is great work! Discussed and linked to it over at our band's blog.

http://fleshsocket.blogspot.com/

"...Now let's look at the way that names can be chosen in Heavy Metal. Doogie Horner over at Comic vs. Audience has put together a brilliantly worked diagramme to instruct the ignorant on the type and variety of heavy metal names..."

http://fleshsocket.blogspot.com/

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Anonymous said...

What about good and bad? You know...

Heaven and Hell
Guns and Roses
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Anonymous said...

JRRT names, btw: Burzum, Amon Amarth, Ephel Duath, Gorgoroth, etc


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