AN INVITATION by Gregg Gethard

I know a lot of comedy nerds/vegans/Obama supporters. When getting to know people, they’re surprised at two facts about me: 1) I’m straight and 2) I love sports.

In fact, I love sports more than anything else in the world. The only other thing that comes close is ice cream, followed by my family and friends. My nightly routine, since the age of ten, revolves around watching multiple episodes of SportsCenter. I have, for no other reason than to entertain myself, ranked my all-time Top 50 NCAA College Basketball Tournament games. Last year, I attended 18 baseball games in person; the year before, that number was 37.

I’m frequently asked by my gamer/Vampire Weekend fan/philosophy major friends why I devote so many hours of my life obsessing over people who, if I met them in real life, I would completely hate.

The Chicago Bulls and Boston Celtics – two basketball teams that, traditionally, I completely despise – are matched up against each other in the first round of the NBA playoffs. Neither team has a realistic chance at winning the championship – Chicago has too many young players and a shitty coach; Boston has endured too many injuries and a shitty coach. But over the past 13 days, they have had me completely dominated all facets of my life.

This is because this is, quite possibly, the best series in the history of professional basketball. Four of their six games have gone into overtime. One went into double overtime. Thursday night’s game went into triple overtime. These games have had ridiculous plot twists, comebacks, clutch shots and cheap shots (which include, but are not limited to, the Celtics’ Rajan Rondo tripping a player who needed forehead stitches as a result, Rajan Rondo nearly ripping out another player’s upper lip to save the game, and Rajon Rondo throwing the guy he tripped into a courtside table, which nearly resulted into a violent fist-fight). I’m way over my monthly texting allowance because of how many times I have to message my brother, my friend Mac who lives in Boston, and Comic Vs. Audience’s own Dave Walk.

But honestly, I’m not a good enough writer to explain to the unconvinced as to why I care so much.

The only way is to see for yourselves tomorrow night at 8 p.m. Join Dave and I at the Fox and Hound at 15th and Spruce to see me at my most sociopathic.

Gregg Gethard is a Philadelphia writer and comedian that will host his monthly show BEDTIME STORIES at Connie's Ric Rac on Wednesday, May 20th. This month's show will be a prom.