Tuesday, November 25, 2008

TOMORROW: The Ministry of Secret Jokes

A stimulus package, new President-Elect and Senate committee nominations aren't enough for your political junkie soul? Luckily, monthly show The Ministry of Secret Jokes will be holding a Presidential Election tomorrow at Fergie's Pub (1214 Sansom). Sez host and, dare we say, Secretary of Jokes Doogie Horner:

Radner High School has asked the Ministry of Secret Jokes to elect a President to represent their student body for the remainder of the school year. Their previous student body President, Ennio Reali, was killed in a drunk driving accident when his car veered off the road, fell into a canal (he was in Venice), and was run over by a skidoo (operating illegally in those waters). The Vice President, Treasurer, and Captain of the football team died the following week from a bee sting, a skiing accident, and sudden infant death syndrome (a mother who went crazy after her infant succumbed to the disease stabbed the Varsity football captain in the throat as he was exiting Sbarro's) respectively. Fears that the deaths may have been mafia related have discouraged any other students from running. Radner High School has therefore asked/paid the Ministry to hold an election and find a suitable replacement student body president for them.

This Wednesday, Pat Barker (Whig) will run against Chip Chantry (Torie) for the position of student body president of Radner High. There will be speeches, a debate, and maybe a spelling bee. They will discuss the War in Iraq, the impending senior prom, and whether Radner should hold a fund raising car wash, or bake sale.


Pruneface said...

Pat is obviously positioning himself as the grizzled, beltway insider veteran, and Chip is the fresh faced outsider.

Brendan Kennedy said...

I strongly believe that Pat's stance onstage will be his downfall. Vote no on Pigeon-toes!!

pat barker said...

I didn't know that people were aware of my Pigeon-toes!!!!!!!!

Dave T said...

I'm not sexist or homophobic, but Chip looks like the runner-up in the Miss Gay 2008 Pageant.